Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Elizabeth Wong Nude, but Not Out

Are you pleased now that you have seen her nude?

Dear Bernado,
Please send me the nude picture of Elizabeth Wong because I have been searching far and wide for it and can't seem to find it on Google. I just need to see why she had to resign because of this over exposure. Wouldn't it be interesting if we had Samy or Khir Toyo's nude pictures too. We would clean up Malaysian politics!

Chocolate Muncher

Dear Chocolate Muncher,

I hope you are pleased (and the many thousands of you - who are frantically increasing the search stats for the words "Elizabeth Wong Nude") that you have now seen Elizabeth Wong's nude picture. Okay, I admit it. This picture is not her.

But don't they all look the almost the same?

What I am most disturbed about isn't so much the fact that she is resigning from this exposure, but the hypocritical statements from such asses like greesy-hand Khir Toyo and the rapist CM from Malacca. They were exposed with their pants down for their corruption and crime and yet they had the gal to clamor for the resignation of a lady who was only caught nude while she was asleep.

I suppose pussies are more costly than exposed dickheads.

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Elizabeth Wong Gambar Bogel Nude Pic

Friday, March 7, 2008

By all means, stop the buses

We need Angels (like her) to stop the thousands of "phantom voters"

Dear Bernado,
I am really concerned about the thousands of extra voters generated from postal votes and thousands of voting hundred year olds who apparently are definitely voting for the BN coalition. How is the opposition ever going to win?

All my efforts to listen to ceramahs and registering as a voter is useless if my vote can't even make a difference.


Dear Fall-Out-Boy,
That is why you need to start praying for Angels to come down and 'distract' these phantom voters. No, seriously. I can't agree with you more. But there is one thing you could do.

You can start a group - say - call yourselves - Bus-Busters. The likes of the PAS people who stopped 9 buses recently.

You can organised yourselves and have road blocks and car blocks to stop all these buses carrying 'phantom voters'. These buses are busy hoping from one polling station to the next. It has been practised for years now.

Of course, you can mark these bastards with paint (red paint like what some one did to the EC chairman's house) and then it is clear to everyone that they are Phantom Buses. If you can't spray them with paint, you can then employ another tactic.

Get nail guns and nail the Bus tyres.
If you votes cant make a difference, remember at least your nails will.

Pic credits: memiscom

Thursday, March 6, 2008

It's going to burst, BN I mean

THIS pretty model is in danger of popping out ... in a cheeky balloon bikini! The quirky underwear set was designed by American artist Steven Jones.

The funny thing is - some people's over-confidence will be burst come 8 March.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Burning Question

Dear Bernado,
Why are the prices of cooking oil increasing? Aren't they made of palm oil, peanuts, corn or canola? What has this got to do with the price of crude oil?


Dear Burnt,

When somebody thought it would be a good idea to burn food as fuel a few years ago, everybody else thought that would be a good idea. It would keep prices stable they said. So, commodity prices started going up and traders, players dealers, and of course those who produce the commodities, laugh all the way to the bank.

Futures dealers, ever on the lookout for a quick kill thought, "Hey lets milk this trend". Stock prices of companies so fortunate to be involved in relevant sectors soared. The boom continued like some abstract concept that gets talked about on Squawk Box but just does not register with the housewife in, oh, say Sitiawan. Soon a strange phenomenon started.

Everytime crude oil prices went up, so did vegetable oil prices. Why? Because the belief that biofuels could be a substitute for mineral fuels had taken hold. Never mind the fact that if every single drop of edible oil produced is converted into biofuel, it would constitute only 3% or 4% of the world's mineral oil consumption.

Still, all was just dandy until one day, somebody who was buying commodities on the spot market (instead of the futures market) found that the price increase just could not be absorbed any more.

And so food prices start going up. Milk, butter,cooking oil, wheat and thus processed food such as breads, chocolates - all started to creeping up. THose who laughed all the way to the bank continued to do so because they could afford to pay for the higher grocery and restaurant bills. The rest of the world paid the price - literally.

And so, here were are today facing a food crisis like the world has never faced before - not because we are not producing enough food to feed the world but because we are using it for non-traditional uses. The the lingo used to say we're burning food.

The NGOs have voiced their concerns. But what of the elected or appointed or annointed leaders of the world? What is being done as prices of food spiral out of control? Would anything be done?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


"Only Muslims can use Allah. It's a Muslim word. It's from the Arabic language. We cannot let other religions use it because it will confuse people," our clever minister said.

Of course, I fully support the exclusive use of Allah by Muslims. I hate it when other people call my Allah when they are not Muslims, because it really confuse me.

You see I don't see the same kind of piety shown by these infidels towards My Allah! They don't pray to Allah 5 times a day like me. They don't fast one month like me. They don't deserve to use Allah or Solat - because they are not as religious as me.

It's My ALLAH and not yours. My Allah cannot tolerate all these hypocrites who are not praying to the true Allah.

So what if we are the butt of jokes and laughed at by foreigners or even the Arabs in Egypt or Turkey. We are more 'Arab' then these Arabs.

Malaysiakini.com wrote:

In a move that may hurt Malaysia's multi-religious social fabric, the government has announced that certain Arabic words like 'Allah' cannot be used in the literature, gospel and speeches of non-Muslims faiths.

Three other commonly used words ordered excluded from non-Muslim lexicon are 'Baitullah' (House of God), 'Solat' (prayer) and 'Kaabah (Sacred House).

The decision has shocked Christians, Sikhs and Hindus, who have for centuries liberally used borrowed Arabic words in their religious practices. They see the government decision as a serious infringement on their religious freedom.

While Malaysia's constitution says Islam is the 'religion of the federation' and that other faiths are freely allowed, non-Muslims increasingly fear freedom of worship is being curtailed by officials influenced by resurgent political Islam.

"Only Muslims can use (the word) Allah. It's a Muslim word. It's from the Arabic language. We cannot let other religions use it because it will confuse people," Internal Security Deputy Minister Johari Baharum told presspersons when explaining the rationale for the decision. "We cannot allow this use of 'Allah' in non-Muslim publications; nobody except Muslims (can use it). The word 'Allah' is published by the Catholics. It's not right," he said.

But followers of Sikhism - which borrows heavily from both Islam and Hindusim and uses the word 'Allah' to refer to god - are upset over the ban. "We have used the terms 'Allah' and 'Rahim' (Most Merciful) extensively in our writings and prayers to refer to God. The word ‘Allah’ is used in our holy scripture," Malaysian Gurdwara Council chief Harcharan Singh told local media last week.

"Sikhs have used these terms for centuries and they are part of the Punjabi language we still use today," he said explaining the dilemma for followers of the faith, who are distinguished by their turbans and beards. "How are we going to fulfill our religious obligation if commonly used words are reserved for Muslims. I really don't know where we are heading as a nation with decisions like this," he said.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Debate on Al Jazeera

The Debate wasn't about this bikini.

Dear Bernardo
I was watching Al-Jazeera English on Astro, the other day when I saw a debate between a lawyer, a Minister of Law and a Son in law. It was very interesting because it was genuine debate with difficult questions being asked by the moderator. Can we be expecting this level of debate to work its way into our local media?

A Malaysian Dreamer

Dear Dreamer,
I too watched the debate and I must say it was fascinating, but I was very disappointed in Al Jazeera for asking such difficult questions because that kind of journalism makes life very hard for our own media. That's not how things are done in this country and Al-Jazeera whose offices are in KLCC shouldn't rock the boat.

The media's job (at least in Malaysia) is to report what the government says and not to make it look bad by asking questions. They are not trained to argue their position and we shouldn't expose them to that possibility.

Its different in the private sector - all it has to do is run a business efficiently, constantly keep ahead of trends and compete in an increasingly globalised world where China and India are attracting investments. And if they fail, then the only thing that happens is that they go bust and lots of people become unemployed.

Al Jazeera clearly has its own agenda of making a name for itself by proving its journalistic credentials and impartiality. it's not our fault if we don't know how to cope with that.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Azalina Lesbian riding our Angkasawan

Dear Bernado,

What a mess up country we are living in! I just read that our infamous lesbian minister riding our very own Angkasawan, who I was told is gay. I always thought lesbians ride other lesbians and gays ride with gays. No wonder our country is in confusion!


Dear Confused,
Apparently you are confused.

Basically our Angkasawan is a cool hardcore bike and Azalina is just riding hardcore to show she is the "male-side" of a lesbian. And apparently she wants more racing tracks for our Mat Rempits. This is good, because more development contracts can ge awarded to our poor Umno members. If only Mat Rempits ride these bikes instead of those embarrasing carps.